1. it's really not his Fault i guess... i would Love to blame him but he actually Helped
2. she is the Best room mate i could imagine having even in my wildest Imaginations!
3. she drives me nuts for no apparent reason. maybe i'm too Harsh?
4. i am so Confused as to why he is screwing up and a partially blame myself
5 a) people don't Trust atheist as much as they Trust muslims or anyone who subscribes to a Religion of any sort.
5 b) they trust agnostics even Less
6. "to write love on her arms" day is so Exciting to me this year for no apparent reason. maybe i just wanna Change her world because she is the World to me!
7 a) the more i think the World i've moved to is Void of a religious view and is not meant for me, the more i realize i just need to Look Harder because it is all around me
7 b) i am so Complacent in my ways and it bugs the crap out of me because i feel like i'm Failing
8. i stole this layout from her and she's known it since the moment she started reading this but she still Loves it because i gave her Props earlier and she feels Honored for being so amazing (if she doesn't...she should)
9. i really hope i'm Changing their lives because i really really want to and i've started to notice that people see something Different in me (which makes me feel so warm and happy inside) i just hope they see it too
10. i am Petrified in the face of Failure and to Avoid it i simply give up therefore Failing on my own Terms.
11. i took a personality test today and i really Enjoyed the results because it said i was in 3% of the population and among those who share my personality were many of the famous Socially Rejected genius' like mozart and benjamin franklin.
12 a) i Miss her so much and i want her life to be Okay again. i miss the times when we were both there for each other for the same exact reason and we stayed Clean together but those times are over now...
12 b) i hate the fact that i'm clean Without her...almost to the point where i don't wanna be just so that we can have it like the good old days and help each other off rock Bottom
13. i've been clean for a year now and it Slipped by without me even Realizing it! ironic since i use to be so Obsessive in keeping track of every Number i could think of.
14 why does it Hurt so much to hear about the love in her life?
15. why do i miss him more now than i ever did? why can i physically feel it when i miss him? and why did i ever think it was a good idea to try and start over with him? i knew it would hurt 10x worse the second time
16. its been 6 weeks since i journaled and i really miss it. i think i will on the next train ride i take
17. i'm so stoked shes coming to NOLA with me so she can finally see the Wonderful things i've been talking about and she wont just think i'm Crazy
18. i love that we make such ridiculous jokes and im glad i found the one Unique person out there that knows exactly what i'm thinking all the time and can guess what i'm saying before my mouth even opens
19. i don't want to end this on a non-round number so... i need one more
20. were buying fish tomorrow and i'm so excited!! hopefully they stay Alive and don't die and we still need names for them
21. i don't want this to end on a non-deep note so i'm gonna keep going
22. guys utterly Confuse me! i don't think i will ever Understand them but i wish i could find the One that understands me
23. i cant wait for them to get Home. i've felt Lost without them here even though i never thought i would Miss them this much. i cant wait to go to wisdom with them and chat it up because i really hope they Say at least one thing that puts me back on the Right Track
24. i really just wanna be Fixed but i'm so Lost as to what to do that i almost don't wanna put up the Fight again
25. i'm pretty sure i need to get over myself!